So you’re watching Netflix and as the credits of some rom-com movie your friend suggested you watch tonight started to slowly slide up the screen, you remember the good parts of the film and you pause to wonder — why the hell am I still single??
Yeah, I bet you’ve already asked yourself that so many times now especially if you are already in your twenties and up until now have nobody, while your friends are already putting their kids through preschool. Is there something wrong that you feel like you’re emitting some kind of negative magnetic charge that just pushes people away? Even possible love interests? The answer is no. Even though that may sound like a cool superpower to have, we are all the same. It’s just that we all tend to act differently when it comes to relationships. Some people play it cool while some create this illusion of what kind of person they should be or what kind of person they should be with. Others will try to withdraw themselves from even just a hint of a relationship until they realize that they can no longer get out of the same hole they dug themselves in.
We all have our reasons but there are those that are so common, they’ve been overused time and time again. If you can’t figure out what’s going on, here are some major reasons why you’re still single.
WHY YOU’RE STILL SINGLE
Waiting for the one.
This is the most popular of them all. Sure go ahead wait for ‘the one’. Let’s see how that turns up when you’re already 40 and you’re busy buying gifts for your nephews and nieces. Waiting is fine, but waiting too long is risky. We age and we aren’t getting any younger. If you keep telling yourself that you are waiting for that certain someone, you are unconsciously building a wall and blocking potential love interests who could have been your ‘one’. And it’ll be too late.
How can you tell if that person is for you? Get to know them by going on dates and if you both think you aren’t a good match, then move on. That’s why some people have been with numerous partners until they finally found their better half. Just make sure they don’t want you just for your body or money. So do the work and don’t just wait for someone to come along.
Setting standards too high.
“I want my girlfriend to be of Chinese-descent, super smart, with clear skin and a beautiful voice.” Good luck with that since every other guy wants the same thing. Stop setting the bar too high! Start by something simple like, “I wish I had a girlfriend/boyfriend”. See how different that sounds without you sounding too demanding? By taking it slow, you are saving yourself the disappointment of not getting your ‘dream partner’. You should be happy to even have one because in most cases, they actually end up to be even better. He/she might not be rich or famous, but if you’re both happy then that’s all that matters.
Look at the mirror, do you think you’re ugly? I bet you probably have friends who have handsome or beautiful partners, and yet you can’t say the same for them. If you think having a gorgeous face is everything, then you are lost. Yes physical attraction does exist, it is the first thing a person sees actually, but it will not make a relationship last. Character is the most important feature of any person. Looks fade with age, but a good attitude will last forever. Be confident, not boastful, of who you are because if your friends could land a 9 or 10, then so can you. But like I said before, don’t set the bar too high. If a 6 or 7 has a thing for you, give them a chance especially if you think they have a great personality.
You’re scaring people away.
I think this should be part of ‘Insecurities’ but I decided to give this one its own description because it is one of those things that make or break a potential relationship. So yeah, stop freaking people out! I’m not talking about your weird snake skin collection which you keep in your room (they should accept you for that), I’m talking about your UNBEARABLE ATTITUDE. This can range from simple intimidation to being a full-time obnoxious prick. If you got offended right now then that’s on you. Like it or not, people prefer other people who are humble and who can stoop down to their level. Down-to-earth, as we would call it. You are now probably saying something like, “Sorry but this is me”, “I can’t change who I am”, or “I was raised like this”… bullshit. If you were raised like that then wouldn’t it make sense that since those values were instilled on you while you were growing up, you can still change them for the better? Life is basically just a growing adventure.
A healthy relationship is where you both have to sacrifice a bit of yourselves to make it work. So start changing or else you might just lose the chance of a lifetime.
You don’t want to be hurt again.
I know heart breaks suck. Everyone has experience that one way or another and it takes some time to recover. But don’t let that stop you indefinitely. If you don’t allow yourself to get out of there because you’re scared of experiencing the pain again, then you will only be hurting yourself more in the long run. Think about the people who you could’ve met. Who knows, one of them could have been the permanent patch to your broken heart.
You choose to be single.
Yeah well like I said, everyone can have their own reason. It may be that you just want to enjoy life for a bit without having to be pulled down by being in a relationship or that you despise the idea of being romantically involved with someone else. Or because you are prioritizing other matters in your life first like money or family. If you’re completely honest that that’s what you want then I’m happy for you. I just hope that you’re not just using that as an excuse or alibi to the other reasons stated in the post.